Bob is at it again

Bob is the one who complained about sugar packets.  He is the one who has scolded the lady making coffee every week because she did not do it the way he would have.  Bob is also the one who regularly says the church doesn’t feel like family

Yesterday I received an email from Bob.  He gently scolded me and three other ladies because we have organized lemonade and cookies at our houses and had not cleared it with our “elder liason”.  His point of concern was noted as possible calendar conflicts.  There was not a conflict this time, but please check in the future.

I think I understand the family dynamic now.  Bob has the role of father.  The congregation acts as the children and we are to ask permission before we do anything.  Dad gets to say yea or nay to a function.  Dad gets to judge value and time availability.  None of us could be wise enough to look at a calendar — we need him to do it for us.

It is such a small thing – like the sugar packets.  And yet, it is a huge thing – like the sugar packets.  The ladies hosting the lemonade have worked deliberately to create community.  We have been successful in doing so in that group.  And Bob wants to come and micro manage so we feel small and like we have not submitted properly to the authority of the elders.  It is draining the energy out of something that has been valuable and community building.  This is an event that makes us feel connected.  It is insulting and a demeaning to be scolded for functioning as a church is supposed to.  To feel like I need to apologize for not getting permission to invite people to my house for lemonade is ridiculous.  If Bob wants there to be community, he must realize he cannot control it all.  He must allow people to make decisions without him.