Today I had an MRI. It is not a big deal as far as a process. The tube is hot, the noises are loud, and it is boring. Otherwise, it is just laying there.
However, knowing it is time to check for the expected regrowth of the tumor is hard. Emotionally it is a reminder of the timer ticking down. It is a reminder of the betrayal of my mind.
I wonder if it is similar to what a person experiences when they hire a P.I. when they suspect a cheating spouse. You know what is likely to be found. If it is not there, there is great relief. It is a time you really want to be wrong about what is there.