Inside the broken brain

I want to try to explain how my mind feels today.  It is an odd mix of what is, was, and could be.  Throw in come emotions (possible death date, leaving my husband and girls forever without a wife and mother, and that could be completely or just my mind).  I want to talk dreams and plans.  I want to impart life’s wisdom.  I want to think and interact.    It seems everyone around me is in their own fears and so they don’t know how to ask me those questions.  (And I can’t remember if I already told them).  The Shepherd has so many million things to do while I can still answer questions.  But I want him to use the time to touch me, touch my mind (ideas, not financial information) hat I feel is working fully, but I don’t know.  We may have already done all of this 30 times today and I don’t remember!