When a couple first marries, there is often a sense of turns. The household chores are divided evenly with attention paid to equality. There might be negotiations about who gets the most hated chores or trade offs to get the better deal. But as time passes, the relationship moves away from negotiations to something else. There is a shift from two individuals protecting their own rights to one couple working for the best of the family.
As I think about marriage, I think it is more about fulfilling roles for the good of the unit. Decisions should be made by what is best for the ones affected. Sometimes it is not about turns or even roles. Sometimes it is kindness. Sometimes simply about need. The ideal is for there to be equality without ever measuring — because we are blessing the other. But don’t forget there are seasons. Seasons mean much work in the times of planting and harvest, but an easier time in the summer. Relationships are like that — times of great work but also times of less. The joy is not in equal distribution but of having a beloved who shares in the journey.